Life Coaching
I help empower my clients to lead a life of self fulfilment and accomplishment
A quick way to turn any conversation around:
Human beings are social creatures, and we interact with people every day of our lives. Our happiness often depends on how these interactions turn out, especially with those whom we care about, such as close friends and family members. However, managing relationships can be challenging because each personality presents its own unique challenges. To develop positive relationships, we need to consciously observe the process and impact of our interactions, so we continue to gain knowledge, understanding, and experience.
I have realized that good relationship management requires us to be assertive and honest in sharing our thoughts, feelings, and concerns. However, we need to do this in a way that is respectful and encourages both parties to listen to each other. A good way to do this is through the communication technique of “I” messages.
In “I” messages, we make statements about ourselves, how we feel, our concerns, and what actions of the other party have led to our concerns. “You” messages focus on the other person and usually lead the other party to become defensive unless the “You” message is a positive statement about the other person.
For example, if a husband or wife is waiting for the return of their spouse, and when the spouse returns, they might be greeted by this: “You are always coming home late! Why can’t you come back earlier?” This “You” message leads to the spouse feeling blamed and attacked, and the ensuing communication would likely not be amicable. In a conflicting situation, “You” messages focus on attacking the other person, and as a result, the primary issues are pushed aside. In contrast, in this same scenario, an “I” message would look like this: “I feel rather lonely while waiting for you to come home. I’m concerned that we’re not spending enough time together.” This “I” message is more likely to encourage the spouse to listen and respond positively.
I hope this helps!
